Taiwan pit stop
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My trips are never complete without a signboard picture :)
I went back to Taiwan. Very short trip.
Things didn't go as smoothly but hey, we survived!
I m...
Warning! The content of this blog may and can be extremely sensitive to some people, If you want to read the blog, I do suggest that you read it on your own risk.
Yes, every tale has more than 1 side of the story...I'm not GOD so I'm not everywhere nor am I all-knowing.
This is just my side of the story based on my understanding!
Schooling everyday...today was Economy class from 8am-11am then was break and we suppose to have Pengajian Am class at 12pm...While waiting for PA teacher to come, the girls were playing motorbike...some learning how to ride, some taking others for a ride...
Secretly I wanted to learn also, but I was shy, so I just watched them. I was at the side of the block and I heard a motorcycle going fast and I heard some girls shouting, so I ran to the noise...the girls were shouting "Zulaikha" and all of them were running to one place. I ran along...I saw Zulaikha under the motorcycle. People were shouting, screaming, crying, panicking and calling for help, some was too shocked and stood paralysed, Tearing eyes...CHAOS Some people carried the motorbike off her. The motorbike was ruined. I saw Zulaikha's legs in the drain with some toes injured, her head senget and her face twitching like spasm...Her forehead was swollen badly, and she didn't make a sound, but she was still breathing. It was a painful, awful sight to see your friend, your form mate, your class mate like that.
Auni's car was the nearest, so some people carried Zulaikha to the car and they drove off to the University Hospital. Mr Jamil followed them behind by his car. Ismail(Wani Wahab's BF) was blaming Wani Wahab because the motorbike is Wani Wahab's motorbike... Wani W cried for her friend, for her bike, for the blame and the guilt.
Wani W said "I told Zulaikha not to go on my motorbike"
Akhmar said "Zulaikha said she wanted to try so I let her, When I offer to go with her, Zulaikha said 'no need' so I thought Zulaikha knew how to ride. I told Zulaikha to press the break but Zulaikha panic and tekan the minyak even more...the motorbike went speeding, Zulaikha loss control, her head hit the tree and her slippers flew off"
Various sources: A few others ran to stop the motorbike when it went out of control but the bike was too fast. Zulaikha's head hit the tree, the wall and a pasu.
Wani W's dad came to school angrily. He gave Wani w until 3pm to fix her bike. He just only spent money to fix all the motorbike in his household...He said the person who rode the bike should pay for the damages. He rode off angry...
Kesian Wani W and Zulaikha, both also in a tight situation...We chipped in some money to help Wani w with her motorbike...
A few times I tried to assemble the girls to pray for Zulaikha but they ignored me...(I remember in RBS[Residential Bible School] when Evelyn was sent to the hospital, We made a circle and prayed for Evelyn)
Somehow the girls rather blame each other, stand in shock, relate what happen, cry and do other things than to go to their god...I was like "There's nothing more that we can do than to pray to God and ask Him to protect Zulaikha especially that nothing happens to her head or ability to think, react and ect "
It almost seem like they rather go to their God last, when there seem no hope and no one to turn to...Why don't they put God first? Don't they believe in HIS Almightyness? They always laungkan azan that they are witnesses that god is almighty and N.Muhammad is god's prophet...Their behaviour doesn't show that they are really WITNESSES(saksi) of god's almightyness...
Action speaks louder than words... So yeah, PA class cancelled... BTW: the moral of this life situation is...HELMET is important! If Zulaikha at least wore a helmet, the impact wouldn't be that hard...
Zulaikha, Hope you get well soon and Hope that your head is ok...
p/s: It could have been me! Another moral I learnt: Don't learn motorcycling illegally!
Tomorrow marks the start of our one week of school holiday due to our country's independence (I think) and tomorrow also marks the start of the fasting for our fellow Muslim friends...
A week of holiday? 22nd August to 31st August...Not really a holiday for the students of Upper 6 Aspiration class of SMK SRI PANTAI. All the Sundays are quite usual that we have Mr Nanda's economy class but now even our "holiday" is snatched away. Sunday to Friday 9am to about 1 pm is a "school day" for us...Our MUET(Malaysia University English Test) teacher Ms Wong also plans to do extra class on Thursday and Friday 9am to 12pm... so we have a choice of Mr Nanda's class or Ms Wong's class on Thursday and Friday...haha
You know what? The next day after our "holiday" is our STPM trials (paper set by Jabatan...each state sits for the exam paper set by the jabatan of each state)
hmmm, isn't the teachers of SMK SRI PANTAI so devoted? they sacrifice their holiday to help the students...LOL
That's not all...what's a school holiday without the package? the HOLIDAY HOMEWORK package la...
You see, a students life is all about studies, HOMEWORK, assignment and exams.
I guess the SYSTEM is really clever yah? A really brilliant idea to combine a few things together: Holiday, homework, extra class and big exams the next day after the holiday!
It's called training for the working life...so you gotta get used to being taken advantage of... isn't that called optimum? yeah la, use your "full potential", "bring out the best in you", super human aka machines...haha maximize the work done/end result/output at use minimum cost...don't want any waste...use everything...
I don't like drawing economy graphs, "keluk" to be more exact! Especially the MC cutting through AC's lowest point and when I have to draw AVC.I dislike the AC a lot cause MC always have to cut AC's minimum point and AVC has to start from far and ends close to AC. Yucks, it really takes me such a long time to get the intersection. I'm really lousy at these drawings! I cannot be a architect..haha
BTW: AC = Average Cost (Kos purata) AVC= Average Variable Cost (Kos Berubah Purata) MC = Marginal Cost (Kos Sut)
Onto a diff topic: Ya, today's assembly was quite weird... You know what? We celebrated the Head prefect's (Ismail Daud) birthday today...Whoa, this is the first time I've heard about a student's birthday celebrated in assembly! It was all the Principle's (Pn Hamidah) idea and Pn Hamidah also bought a secret recipe cake for Ismail Daud.
OK, now onto another subject: HISTORY My history teacher(Pn Maimon) gives us unexpected written "test" when she feels like it...quite rare la. This year twice already. Each time she gives us a "test", she doesn't care about it in the end--> she doesn't want it! So, I feel really discouraged in putting effort to memorize within the short period of time for this "test" as she doesn't really care about the end result! Some people feel relieved that she doesn't collect these "test"...But I feel like it's a waste of time, ink, paper and effort...I put effort in memorizing in those 5 minutes she gave us to refresh our minds before doing the "test"...I feel sad la... ;C
I feel like I'm lost, my school is crazy. We are talked to as though we are children and teachers teaches like as though we are children. Everyday during assembly, the students are instructed to "angkat tangan, jatuh tangan" like Tadika or primary school children. Our MUET(Malaysian University English Test) teacher teaches us like primary school students-->Repeat after me. these are the outer factors.
Now, onto the internal factor: today I witness a very childish reaction. In this incident, I feel quite ashamed of my good friend's behavior and in general my class's attitude. This friend of mine started calling someone horrible names just like a child. The other girl also exchange back horrible names. I really felt like I was back in Pre-School. I tell you it was really such a child-ish attitude.
I really wish I had the guts to tell this good friend of mine to not act that childish, but she was too emotional...
School is for studying la, people! Why do you all want to make school a battlefield? Both sides in wrong ok? Happy? Can you'll just call it a day and shake hands? You people are of the same faith, can you tolerate and forgive please?
Right now, "the class is much more 'CONDUCIVE' class to study!" claim many teachers since we redecorated and rearranged and "carpeted" our class. Little do they know of how NOT conducive our class is in on the inside. This enmity between the Malay girls of my class is really frustrating, causing stress and getting out of hand each day!
I feel so ashamed and sad that my class is in a gloomy and tensed atmosphere. There's also a lot of verbal fights and unnecessary rubbish going on. Again it makes me wonder and wonder the same thing I always do... Why do we come to school?
I really wanna shout out "HELLO FRIENDS, WE ARE PRE-UNIVERSITY STUDENTS, NOT CHILDREN OK? SO, PLEASE BEHAVE LIKE AN ADULT. WE'RE ALREADY 19 YEARS OLD!"
The class's rearrangement is now a horrible thing. A small thing ballooned up into a gigantic issue. In my class there is the minority gang and the majority gang. My class is made of 20 students The minority gang is made up of me, Pui Yee(2 Chinese girls), Praveen(1 Indian boy) and Hazizah(English speaking Malay girl) while the Majority gang is the rest of the class...but with some neutral parties.
In the new class sitting, nobody wanted to sit next to Hazizah...they Anti her. In my class there is cliques...about doubles mostly and some triples. Here's the list:
1. minority gang(4 people) 2. Syakirah and Nissa 3. Suraya and Zulaikha 4. Zuraini and Akhmar 5. Wani Noor, Wahidah and Eius 6. Hafizah and Farahin 7. Wisha and Roslina
Zuchal, Wani Azrin, Wani Wahab are free agents...
In the new arrangement, the majority gang is all in their cliques but the minority gang was purposely thrown separately to the 4 sides/ends of the class. This was done because the majority gang has been unsatisfied(tak puas hati with Hazizah since lower 6 already) so they want Hazizah to be alone. They don't want Hazizah to sit in front nor do they don't want Hazizah to sit with Pui Yee or any of the minority, and the majority don't want to sit next to her. This unsatisfied feeling was that Hazizah didn't really mix with the other Malays so they think she's snobbish. Besides that, Hazizah was originally from the next class last year but in the middle of the year 2008 she transferred into my class...A certain someone was supposedly 3rd in class went down to 4th due to Hazizah getting 3rd in class.
And so, this new arrangement brought a lot of dissatisfaction...then the fight begins...so kecoh.... verbal fights, tears, complains, teachers, "secret meetings", and a whole new gloomy atmosphere. Very tensed up aura and vibes, negative feelings all around class. The situation is tensed up in class.
A racist remark: "Takkan semata-mata minoriti(Cina), kita nak tukar tempat. Kita orang dah selesa dah. Kita majoriti, mereka minoriti. Biarlah!"
very ugly i tell u... both sides also don't want to give up... today the teacher said to the majority gang to just give in...then Hazizah pulak was rude and action action....now everyone also panas. The thing was cooled down for 1 minute then Hazizah go and stir up the heat again. both sides in fault... nobody wants to admit they are wrong.
I find it a bit funny, they all(majority) don't want to separate with their friends but it's okay to separate the minority. To them, It's okay to separate Pui Yee from her best friend(Hazizah). I can't understand their double standards. Can they even listen to their own self? haiz, discrimination!
Oh my, why la? so kecoh you know! Please lah! right now I'm kind of atas pagar...neutral... I don't really care la about the position, lazy want to argue... Me and Praveen don't really mind where we sit lah. It makes me wonder once again, why do we come to school for? Seating Arrangements? LOL. Neways, I think this is also from the STPM stress la.
Upper 6 Effective class carpeted their floor and rearranged their table so now must take off shoes to enter their class. Now, my class wants to copy...haiz. This is so childish la. Since the lower 6 years, the 2 classes compete and copy the class arrangement. When one class makes a change in the class, the other class will follow and try to stand up more...Rivalry that is in vain, useless.
I seriously don't see any difference or what's the point between the cemented floor and the carpeted/wall paper-ed floor for my class. What's the use of it? When I inquired the class of why they are doing this, they answered that our class teacher was lamenting on how her previous class(last year or so) always won the cleanest class award every week so much so that other teachers wanted to ban her class from competing.
We also collected RM2 from each person just to buy a baju for our class teacher. When I asked why are we doing this, they said because our class teacher was complaining that we never gave her any present...Haiz!
I wonder, do we go to school to study or please teachers or hear teacher's complains? Why is her acceptance so important? This teacher like to threathen students with mild curses..."Kalau tak bla bla bla, tak berkat" Not like I really care la... But you know something I realised? I don't know if this goes to all Malays or it's just my school la. The Malays like to merajuk very fast, get angry and hurt easily, and they always mild curse people. The worse attribute is their jealousy...it's super strong I tell you! When I confronted them about the mild cursings, the answer given was "Kita orang mahu beri galakkan...bukan curse. Reverse psychology"
But still, the way they give the "galakan" is by pouring down bad words and cursing. When something is lost or when they get angry, my, my, you should cover your ears...all the foul words will come out of their mouth and heavy horrible curses will be shouted out...and I'm not talking about my form only-->this goes to all the Malays from different forms that I met in SMK Seri Pantai. It's the same reaction...maybe it's the Malay culture. Hmmm. Actually, maybe all races also do this cursing, maybe...but not as obvious as this la, and not as frequent and easily poured out like this la.
If you don't respond the way they want you to respond...some of them will get angry and hurt and start to merajuk with that merajuk sentences and then the angry voice will come and next would be cursing and soon to threatening...Then their friends would say they're joking...but their voice and vibe says the opposite. I get a bit scared I tell you, a bit worried too. These type of people are potential abusers...Imagine if alcohol is added with these kind of attitude...I won't be surprised if these violent people actually kill people.
Saya terdengar khabar angin bahawa cikgu sudah mula bertegas dalam pentadbiran pengawas sekolah namun cikgu tidak mengambil sebarang tindakan terhadap pengawas tersebut. Syabas dan kerja yang bagus tetapi cikgu hanya mengambil kira perkara yang lebih besar; cikgu menutup sebelah mata dalam menangani perkara yang kecil.
Perkara yang kecillah yang banyak membentuk/ mempengaruhi/ menyumbang kepada disiplin dan akhlak seseorang. Antara buku yang membuktikan penyataan tersebut ialah ‘The Pencil’ dan ‘The Pearl’ serta ‘Konserto Terakhir’. Selalunya pengalaman dan kejadian terutamanya perkara yang dianggap remehlah yang telah membentuk perwatakan seseorang itu.
Jangan pandang rendahakan perkara yang kelihatan tidak penting atau serius. Penjenayah, penagih dadah , pembunuh, pelajar bermasalah. Semua perwatakan ini terbentuk daripada kejadian yang dianggap kurang serius tetapi hakikatnya ia amat serius dan merupakan “the turning point of their life”.
Isu kasut di Burma telah mencetuskan semangat nasiolisme. Saya yakin dan sangat pasti bahawa dari sudut pandangan orang Inggeris, mereka menganggap isu ini sebagai sesuatu hal yang tidak penting malah ia merupakan sesuatu yang tidak mempunyai “any significance”. Tetapi bagi orang Burma, kejadian inilah yang telah membawa perubahan dalam sejarah dunia.
Saya yakin cikgu pernah mendengar pepatah ini; ‘Siakap senohong gelama ikan duri, bercakap bohong lama-lama mencuri.’ Pepatah ini membuktikan perkara yang kelihatan “harmless”, lama-lama akan menjadi sesuatu yang sangat serius.
Pengawas itu telah diskriminasikan pelajar minority serta imej pengawas serta sekolah turut rosak atau dipandang rendah di mata sekolah.
Apa gunanya peraturan dan undang-undang jika pihak berkuasa tidak menguatkuasakannya?
Jika cikgu tidak mengenakan sebarang amaran, tindakan atau hukuman terhadapnya, ini secara tidak langsung akan:
*menghantar mesej bahawa perbuatannya tidak salah tetapi okay.
*Perkara ini juga bagai limau masam sebelah
*Hal seperti ini membawa kepada pembentukan diskriminasi; akan wujud pemikiran bahawa pengawas merupakan pelajar ‘kelas pertama’ manakala pelajar lain tergolong sebagai “second class students”.
Pengawas boleh buat apa-apa sahaja termasuk menyalahgunakan kuasa serta mereka tidak perlu hormat kepada pelajar senior. Pelajar–pelajar terpaksa ‘mengikut telunjuk’
-untuk pengetahuaan cikgu, perkara ini juga merupakan salah satu bentuk buli atau ‘ragging’
Perbuatan cikgu juga akan mewujudkan pemikiran bahawa seorang pengawas akan mempunyai ‘lesen’ atau ‘kelonggaran’ dan bebas untuk melakukan perkara, perbuatan dan pertuturan yang tidak patut dilakukan.
Sekali gus cikgu melahirkan pelajar dan pengawas yang “corrupted”, rosak akhlak, imej, keterampilan, moral, budaya, sikap, atitud dan pelajar yang laksana bunga dedap, sungguh merah berbau tidak.
Perkara ini juga bercanggah dengan piagam sekolah, visi sekolah, matlamat sekolah, falsafah sekolah dan moto sekolah ini! Perkara sebegini akan mewujudkan rasa tidak puas hati warga sekolah malah ini akan membawa kepada kes-kes disiplin yang bagaikan cendawan tumbuh selepas hujan.
Jika iniberlaku, saya mahu cikgu tahu bahawa secara tidak langsung, cikgulah yang akan menjadi punca utama terbentuk orang yang tidak bertanggungjawab atau tidak bergunadalam negara kita.
Cikgu-cikgu seperti itulah bagaikan pihak yang tidak melaksanakan amanahnya dan hanya makan gaji buta serta menyumbang kepada kemunduran negara kita.
Oleh itu, saya berharap bahawa cikgu akan menggetus tunasnya, sebelum ia menjadi pucuk terlebih dahulu. Bak kata meluntur buluh, biarlah dari rebungnya.
Aduan berkenaan Pengawas yang telah mendiskriminasikan saya.
Berhubung perkara di atas, saya Hew Mun Foong, seorang pelajar daripada tingkatan 6 Atas Aspirasi, Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Seri Pantai ingin membuat aduan tentang seorang pengawas lelaki. Pengawas tersebut telah mendiskriminasi saya. Perkara ini telah menginggung perasaan saya dan menjatuhkan maruah saya, malah pengawas ini telah melanggar peraturan sekolah juga.
2.Pengawas tersebut telah mendiskriminasi saya sewaktu perhimpunan pada 6 Januari 2009, Selasa. Pengawas ini menganggap perkara ini remeh dan belum meminta maafkepada saya. Walaupun dia seorang pengawas dia tidak sepatutnya mendiskriminasi seorang pelajar ataupun seorang ‘senior’.
3.Saya telah memeriksa BUKU PERATURAN DISIPLIN SEKOLAH MENENGAH WILAYAH PERSEKUTUAN KUALA LUMPUR dari JABATAN PENDIDIKAN WILAYAH PERSEKUTUAN KUALA LUMPUR, edisi Bahasa Melayu, cetakan 2003. ISSN 1675-7866
1)Education-Disiplin1. Judul 375
BAHAGIAN PENAMPILAN DAN KEKEMASAN DIRI
9.0 Tingkah laku murid yang dilarang di sekolah
9.1 Tingkah laku biadap
9.4 Tingkah laku Jenayah/ salah laku Berat.
9.4.12menimbulkan isu sensitif yang boleh menimbulkan kacau-bilau
Ini merupakan kesalahan berat (B)
Kod
Jenis Kesalahan
Hukuman
B 06
Biadap dan tingkah laku tidak sopan
1.Amaran keras
2.Dirotan 1-3 kali di punggung berlapik dengan menggunakan rotan
ringan
4.Digantung persekolahan tidak melebihi14 hari
5.Dibuang sekolah
6.Makhamah
4.Dia juga boleh didakwa menurut AKTA PERLINDUNGAN KANAK-KANAK 1991, PINDAAN 2001.
Penderaan mental; perbuatan menjatuhkan maruah seperti dihina.
5.Oleh kerana saya tidak mahu memperbesarkan hal ini,saya cuma mahu pengawas tersebut meminta maafdaripada saya dengan ikhlas. Saya meminta jasa baik cikgu supaya dapat menyelesaikan masalah ini dengan segera.Saya juga berharap perkara sebegini tidak akan diulangi oleh mana-mana pengawas.Diharapkan cikgu juga tidak akan menganggap hal ini dengan kurang penting. Kerjasama dan perhatian cikgu terlebih dahulu saya ucapkan berbanyak-banyak terima kasih.
Hi kawan-kawan, My school is always changing the school timetable la, that's not the only thing changing! Even the time has been extended from 2.30pm, 3pm, 3.30pm, 4.15pm, and now the latest time being 5.25pm.Gila duh! With the new timetable in activation now there's extra class(Kelas NADI) on Saturdays la...And not forgetting MR NANDA's compulsory economy classes on SUNDAYS. Wah, that means literally everyday also got school...But as for me, I am NOT going for NADI CLASSES ON SATURDAYs. NO WAY!unless it's Mr Nanda's class la... What's with "lectures, tutorial, R&D, and colloquium"...and what's with going back at 3.50pm on Friday? This is crazy la.
Today was the form 6 Orientation of SMK Seri Pantai la... Upper 6 students "kenakan" the lower 6 students... Personally, I don't categorize this as an orientation for there was not much mixing between the junior and the seniors, rather it was more like telematch among the lower 6 students... The lower Six-ers were a not sporting la...they "merajuk" very fast, quite spoilt...majority were angry with the activities arranged. I liked the closing speech by our vice-president of PERTINA (persatuan tingkatan enam), Alif Idham. He said all this activity was not meant for ragging, instead the motive was to build teamwork among the lower 6s and in the process, look out for potential leaders...leader for clubs, uniform, games, prefect and librarians...basicly to find the "penapis" for our departure :) Really cool right? Our PERTINA advisor teachers were a superb bunch of sporting teachers. They did the "pocho-pocho" and chicken dance with all the form 6s...the fact that they actually volunteered to do and lead us was interesting =P
Oh, why orientation so late? because we wanted to have orientation with those who are confirmed staying in school, so the orientation won't be a waste of effort and so that the orientation is more meaningful...therefore it is only after the switching period.
Ok, Mr Nanda's back already..the class did a treaty with him. PeRjAnJiAn 6 Atas Aspirasi-En Nanda 19th June 2009 Here were our conditions after apologizing & to show our seriousness: 1. we all will attend 100% for his extra classes on Sunday...Gasp :O 2. we won't mind him calling us "mabuk" or stuff like that, we promise to not get offended. 3. Give us 2 months, if there's no improvement on our side then Mr Nanda is free to leave us. (Oh my, can we really improve ar? Scared la)
this pula is Mr Nanda's conditions: 1. If there is no full attendance for Sunday extra classes, he will cancel the extra classes and we will all not be able to finish our syllabus in time. 2. In a month's time, he will give us the exact same exam paper, and this time everyone must pass. (Gulps...err, sure a not?) 3. We must do revision when we go back home.
My economy teacher merajuk today. He was very angry, disappointed with my class because only 4 students pass the economy paper but 16 students including me failed his paper. He scolded us and told us either we change our attitude or we change teacher. Mr Nanda is a very cool and nice economy teacher, he teaches us like tadika children, right from the basics..haha. This is because all of us are super weak in mathematics. The highest my class got for modern maths SPM 2007 is C and majority failed or the alphabets after C. (I always thought he should be a mathematics teacher) Anyway, after he merajuk in class, he went out our class...making the class feel regret and sorry.
As I was falling asleep, I saw a vision of my hair being snip off..."Oh, NO!!!"(me) It was a warning sign from Above. "Remember your promise, Mfoong"(God)
Today Pn Lailatul(Pengurusan Perniagaan teacher) said the one who sleeps the most is the one who got the lowest mark in PP... Yesterday Rachel said my hair is long.... People ask me when am I going to cut my hair.
Here's some things: I personally dislike having LONG hair. It's a burden, it's a lot of work, it's very tiresome and it really sucks. So, why am I growing long hair now if I don't like having long hair? Good question. It's a promise I made with God last year before I entered Form 6. I was complaining to God that Form 6 is "claimed" to be the world's top 5th hardest exams la..How am I going to get through it?... Bla bla bla & then I said to myself, "OK, if I can jaga my hair then I can go through STPM...I mean if I can jaga small things, I can jaga big things...If I can go though 1.5 years with long hair, I can go though 1.5 years through Stpm". I promised God I'm not going to cut my hair till the last day of STPM. Therefore, cutting my hair = I give up...I cannot jaga my hair, too ma fan la or STPM is too difficult la
Acts 18:18 Paul stayed on in Corinth for some time. Then he left the brothers and sailed for Syria, accompanied by Priscilla and Aquila. Before he sailed, he had his hair cut off at Cenchreabecause of a vow he had taken
during the BTN camp..when they sent us to sleep at 12am den woke us up at 2.30 am for an activity....i remember we were given numbers n i was 24..there was 35 in all la...then I slept on the tar road...when i woke up, there was only 2 other campers n a facilitator...
The activity finished at 5am..then they send send us to sleep n we had to wake up at 5.30am....i remember sleeping n when i woke up it was 7.30am, i was in d dorm with another girl...every1 else was down stairs...how come every1 forgot me? Usually we cannot eat until every1 arrives, but that day nobody noticed that i was still asleep...den when i went down...they all asked me where was I gone to? Huh? [ Sabrina said: oh! haha... maybe God knows u too tired and needed more rest so sent angels to keep u :) ]
there was 1 thing in camp which was really cool that happened.. to get into the girl's dorm u have to enter the toilet...the dorm is in the toilet..haha. we don't have the key to the toilet but we have the key to the dorm.. 1 day I was staring at my towel n i remembered RBS[Residential Bible School] (where A.May Lee told us to not put our towels in the dorm)...So I hanged my towel outside(it was dry i told myself this is d silly-est thing I'm doing)... i was lazy to go out side so i just opened my window cause my window was nearest to the clothes line... That day, some1 locked the toilet door...so having the dorm key was useless n we were all stuck outside...but then i remembered my window, climbed into the dorm n opened d toilet door...amazing isn't it..how RBS n God could make a difference
Before leaving to the campsite, our school Principle said the form 6's doesn't have kerjasama just because our "baju tak sama"..huh? She believes in 'unity is uniformity'... In my heart I got even more afraid..."soon the next thing, she might say is I must wear tudung so that all uniform or not it show i don't have unity"...I disagree with 'uniformity is unity'...in a way, she is implying...Malaysia for Malays only. Anyway, I believe in "unity in diversity"...Then only can masyarakat majmuk ma... the BTN camp: only my school..the upper 6 students and 3 lower 6 students. Amazingly Pui Yee came. 35 students in all. The camp was "Kursus Bina Negara Asas" by the "Biro Tatanegara, Jabatan Perdana Menteri" at "Kem Rekreasi Intan Suraya, Sg Siput(U), Perak"...somewhat like a Leadership camp la. The BTN camp was ok la...I went with a unwilling heart n came back with a "ok ok la" heart. There I got to know that these classmates of mine are actually quite caring and Malays like hot or spicy food...everyday their food got chili! curry and durian...make the body hot also..haha..drinks all super sweet..can get diabetes I tell you! Every activity had a purpose...that was a cool concept. The place was quite forest-ty la, many trees and durian tress.When we reached the road.It was a dead end and then we had to change bus..old small "mini bus". That mini bus brought us about 1 km inside the "forest" where we saw the campsite...as we were in the mini bus, some was singing, then a form mate said "Jangan seronok sangat"...i ask her why, she said cause we are entering tempat "ORANG" (and she didn't mean humans)...later on during the camp, we had an activity...again i heard a similar remark by another form mate saying "Jangan gembira sangat, jangan takut sangat, jangan berani sangat"...what a strange concept...cannot enjoy camp, cannot be too happy, cannot show real feelings...2 person saw or heard these "ORANG" once during the camp... The weather there was quite cool la...cold in the morning, cold in the evening and night, afternoon was not that hot..must be the greens and trees. The camp was quite packed...sleeping time is 12am(the earliest) and the latest sleeping time was 2am... the time to wake up was 5.30am...not enough sleep duh...everyone had panda eyes and many were falling sick with flu, including me. One of the activity was "berakit" somewhat like kayak la...8 tubes tied together with rafia and PVC pole-like thing and wood(papan)...and we got dayungs la...from our campsite Kem Rekreasi Intan Suraya, Sg Siput(U), Perak to Jabatan Perairan dan Saliran Kuala Kangsar. More than 10 km la...my team was funny, we cannot work together so the rakit was not really moving lah. it was a 5 hour program, but our team took like 6 hours which also included the boat towing our rakit cause we were jauh ketinggalan the pack..haha...There was 1 part, no matter how much we berdayung, we were not moving..hahaha. berdayung for so many hours...shoulders pain, sit on the papan...butt pain. arms and feet is sunburnt...pain la...feel like we were human BBQ-ed under the scorching sun...d base of my foot's skin peeled...my group mate got blister-like wounds because she didn't keep wetting the tube n the tube was burning hot..so melecur la. The sunburn part is warm but the not sunburn part was cold..so our body got 2 different temperatures.. my arm got 2 diff colors n 2 diff temperature..LOL. The sunburn areas feels like we're burning...argh... I learnt much and experienced many things...If I could blog during the camp, you would understand la...then you would read 4 long posts...I'm kinda afraid this is quite long already.
The water is deep Right now, I just want to keep my head above the waters. Just want to survive. There is still much strength in me but I'm too tired to go on. The more I kick the water...Yes I move, BUT The hope to reach land lessens every day...
When will I see the shore? The waves are crashing past me...I don't know what the waves are doing? Are they pushing me to the shore? Are they trying to drown me? Are they calling me to surf? Are they laughing at me?
The waves are waves and will be waves. It's up to me How do I want to look at it? What's my choice? I would love to be positive and all. I mean who wouldn't right? A straight smooth sail would be nice.
The waters are rising each day. I don't know when am I going to finally let go and be lost under the surface...
This is the phase of confusion... Sadness overwhelms me and is telling me to let go but I know letting go would be wrong... Right now I, I don't know if I can say I'm OK and I can say I'm not OK. I'm in the middle...helplessly floating aimlessly... I'm lost and it's my fault...I'm not strong enough. I feel like a "sampah masyarakat" in school. Why am I studying what I don't want to... I never thought I'll end up in this school or do these subjects... Some children study what their parents force on them. I'm feeling like one of them...no interest here... I see an easier way out but its after-effect would be disastrous. A longing is there but cowardliness stops me from taking that road.
I guess I'm kind of unstable now. Don't worry. I promise I won't do anything out of the ordinary... I'll be back to normal after some time...maybe in 2 weeks or so. I just need some time to accept the REALITY and perhaps Try to mend my relationship with God.
Everyday as i walk anywhere in school where there are guys, there's a big chance i get teased. But every day as i go up those stairs to my class, every week without fail, at least once i will get teased as i go up those stairs; be it racist remarks or eve-teasing. Teased because I'm a Chinese, teased because I'm a girl, Teased because i don't wear tudung. every week it accumulates... Walk to anywhere in school..and i would be exposing myself to these teasings, even walking out of school when school's over. Wherever there are guys, there would be some sort of teasing happening.
The only safe ground for me is in class, or in the library. I can't do anything because it's not only 1 boy but it's somewhat like an acceptable practice in this school that I'm in. Many guys do it all the time. A Malay Kampung thing i guess...
I'm a very sensitive girl, outside i may seem OK but inside I'm hurt, angry and i feel disgusted by their words. Yesterday as i walked up to class, the guys at the stairs teased me...i was filled with anger, i wanted to punch dat fellow, i wanted to show that I'm not someone you can mess around with. my hands was ready, just waiting for d command from me... my hand was half way going up ... den i realize just in time dat i am a Christian.. i will bring down Christ's name.
I wished i did not convert, i wished i was still a Buddhist cause then i would just bash up that guy! What happened to that MFoong who was aggressive? Where is the girl who kicked a boy on the leg because her friend was teased in SKBB? Where is the girl who fought with a guy outside of SMKBB just because he teased her friend? What happened to the girl who aggressively pushed a guy at HCC for teasing her friend?
I cry myself to sleep... The One Above sent me here, i don't know WHY! Is this a test/trial? Is this a training ground to toughen me up? Is this a place to learn patience, self-control and AGAPE?
sports day today was smk seri pantai's sports day. i feel so embarrassed that I'm in this skool. we had 4x100m jemputan with smk seri hartamas n vivekananda. smk seri hartamas won and when they came to receive d medals, my kampung skool laugh at them cause they wearing shorts..tunjuk aurat wor.Really embarrassing la... even uncivilized people behave better.
neway now onto d lesson i learn through sports day. i entered 100m, 4x100m and 4x400m n lompat jauh n 4x100m jemputan... all i got 3rd. sad la.. BUT this was GOD reminding me of something i learn while i was in RBS(Residential Bible School) during the jungle trekking. "It's not how fast u finish d race but it's how u share n show God's love during d race" God's calling for me to be a Pacesetter rather than a Runner. But i rather be a runner than a pacesetter :P Just recently i notice how hard i try to b a runner i just keep on failing horribly and it's really pathetic!
The Rain on Friday(27 feb) really made me sick...What kind of school still holds an assembly in the midst of rain? The teachers in the shade and the students under the rain for at least 10 minutes. Abuse! Selfish! Inconsiderate! This is not the first time Smk Seri Pantai made the students stand under the rain. This is the second time already! Th first time was at the prefect and librarian installation where the librarians had to stand under the rain.(23.10.08)
Really, this is a super crazy school which abuses it's power to achieve it's selfish purpose, thus neglecting the health of the students.
It was really stupid of the Principle and new TESL teachers to exchange gifts, give a speech and take pictures under the shade and in the meantime forcing students to stand under the rain just to witness these. If this is not abuse, what else do you call it?
If I follow my feelings, I really want to report this to the media but that would just be loads of effort.
Today, I still don't agree with the teacher's "super imposed"...Whatever lah, I don't want to argue anymore for it brings no benefit. "Teachers are always right!" HAIZ, what a SHREWED UP system!
Just another Form 6 student aka pre-University student aka STPM 2009 student.
Frustrated with my school, Can you blame me?
Who am I? Am I who I think I am Or Am I who PEOPLE think I am? It doesn't really matter cause I can CHANGE!
