Dreading Smk SP

Everyday as i walk anywhere in school where there are guys, there's a big chance i get teased.
But every day as i go up those stairs to my class, every week without fail, at least once i will get teased as i go up those stairs; be it racist remarks or eve-teasing.
Teased because I'm a Chinese, teased because I'm a girl, Teased because i don't wear tudung.
every week it accumulates...
Walk to anywhere in school..and i would be exposing myself to these teasings, even walking out of school when school's over. Wherever there are guys, there would be some sort of teasing happening.

The only safe ground for me is in class, or in the library.
I can't do anything because it's not only 1 boy but it's somewhat like an acceptable practice in this school that I'm in. Many guys do it all the time. A Malay Kampung thing i guess...

I'm a very sensitive girl, outside i may seem OK but inside I'm hurt, angry and i feel disgusted by their words.
Yesterday as i walked up to class, the guys at the stairs teased me...i was filled with anger, i wanted to punch dat fellow, i wanted to show that I'm not someone you can mess around with.
my hands was ready, just waiting for d command from me... my hand was half way going up ... den i realize just in time dat i am a Christian.. i will bring down Christ's name.

I wished i did not convert, i wished i was still a Buddhist cause then i would just bash up that guy!
What happened to that MFoong who was aggressive? Where is the girl who kicked a boy on the leg because her friend was teased in SKBB? Where is the girl who fought with a guy outside of SMKBB just because he teased her friend? What happened to the girl who aggressively pushed a guy at HCC for teasing her friend?

I cry myself to sleep... The One Above sent me here, i don't know WHY! Is this a test/trial? Is this a training ground to toughen me up? Is this a place to learn patience, self-control and AGAPE?

sports day

5th march 2009

sports day
today was smk seri pantai's sports day. i feel so embarrassed that I'm in this skool.
we had 4x100m jemputan with smk seri hartamas n vivekananda. smk seri hartamas won and when they came to receive d medals, my kampung skool laugh at them cause they wearing shorts..tunjuk aurat wor.Really embarrassing la... even uncivilized people behave better.

neway now onto d lesson i learn through sports day.
i entered 100m, 4x100m and 4x400m n lompat jauh n 4x100m jemputan... all i got 3rd. sad la..
BUT this was GOD reminding me of something i learn while i was in RBS(Residential Bible School) during the jungle trekking. "It's not how fast u finish d race but it's how u share n show God's love during d race"
God's calling for me to be a Pacesetter rather than a Runner. But i rather be a runner than a pacesetter :P
Just recently i notice how hard i try to b a runner i just keep on failing horribly and it's really pathetic!

2nd rain

2nd March, 2009

The Rain on Friday(27 feb) really made me sick...What kind of school still holds an assembly in the midst of rain? The teachers in the shade and the students under the rain for at least 10 minutes. Abuse! Selfish! Inconsiderate! This is not the first time Smk Seri Pantai made the students stand under the rain. This is the second time already! Th first time was at the prefect and librarian installation where the librarians had to stand under the rain.(23.10.08)

Really, this is a super crazy school which abuses it's power to achieve it's selfish purpose, thus neglecting the health of the students.

It was really stupid of the Principle and new TESL teachers to exchange gifts, give a speech and take pictures under the shade and in the meantime forcing students to stand under the rain just to witness these. If this is not abuse, what else do you call it?

If I follow my feelings, I really want to report this to the media but that would just be loads of effort.

Today, I still don't agree with the teacher's "super imposed"...Whatever lah, I don't want to argue anymore for it brings no benefit. "Teachers are always right!"
HAIZ, what a SHREWED UP system!