orientation

june 23, 2009

Today was the form 6 Orientation of SMK Seri Pantai la...
Upper 6 students "kenakan" the lower 6 students...
Personally, I don't categorize this as an orientation for there was not much mixing between the junior and the seniors, rather it was more like telematch among the lower 6 students...
The lower Six-ers were a not sporting la...they "merajuk" very fast, quite spoilt...majority were angry with the activities arranged.
I liked the closing speech by our vice-president of PERTINA (persatuan tingkatan enam), Alif Idham. He said all this activity was not meant for ragging, instead the motive was to build teamwork among the lower 6s and in the process, look out for potential leaders...leader for clubs, uniform, games, prefect and librarians...basicly to find the "penapis" for our departure :)
Really cool right?
Our PERTINA advisor teachers were a superb bunch of sporting teachers. They did the "pocho-pocho" and chicken dance with all the form 6s...the fact that they actually volunteered to do and lead us was interesting =P

Oh, why orientation so late? because we wanted to have orientation with those who are confirmed staying in school, so the orientation won't be a waste of effort and so that the orientation is more meaningful...therefore it is only after the switching period.

class promise

June 19, 2009

Ok, Mr Nanda's back already..the class did a treaty with him.
PeRjAnJiAn 6 Atas Aspirasi-En Nanda 19th June 2009
Here were our conditions after apologizing & to show our seriousness:
1. we all will attend 100% for his extra classes on Sunday...Gasp :O
2. we won't mind him calling us "mabuk" or stuff like that, we promise to not get offended.
3. Give us 2 months, if there's no improvement on our side then Mr Nanda is free to leave us. (Oh my, can we really improve ar? Scared la)

this pula is Mr Nanda's conditions:
1. If there is no full attendance for Sunday extra classes, he will cancel the extra classes and we will all not be able to finish our syllabus in time.
2. In a month's time, he will give us the exact same exam paper, and this time everyone must pass. (Gulps...err, sure a not?)
3. We must do revision when we go back home.

economy blues

17 june 09

My economy teacher merajuk today. He was very angry, disappointed with my class because only 4 students pass the economy paper but 16 students including me failed his paper. He scolded us and told us either we change our attitude or we change teacher.
Mr Nanda is a very cool and nice economy teacher, he teaches us like tadika children, right from the basics..haha. This is because all of us are super weak in mathematics. The highest my class got for modern maths SPM 2007 is C and majority failed or the alphabets after C. (I always thought he should be a mathematics teacher)
Anyway, after he merajuk in class, he went out our class...making the class feel regret and sorry.

As I was falling asleep, I saw a vision of my hair being snip off..."Oh, NO!!!"(me)
It was a warning sign from Above. "Remember your promise, Mfoong"(God)

Today Pn Lailatul(Pengurusan Perniagaan teacher) said the one who sleeps the most is the one who got the lowest mark in PP...
Yesterday Rachel said my hair is long....
People ask me when am I going to cut my hair.

Here's some things:
I personally dislike having LONG hair. It's a burden, it's a lot of work, it's very tiresome and it really sucks.
So, why am I growing long hair now if I don't like having long hair? Good question.
It's a promise I made with God last year before I entered Form 6. I was complaining to God that Form 6 is "claimed" to be the world's top 5th hardest exams la..How am I going to get through it?... Bla bla bla & then I said to myself, "OK, if I can jaga my hair then I can go through STPM...I mean if I can jaga small things, I can jaga big things...If I can go though 1.5 years with long hair, I can go though 1.5 years through Stpm". I promised God I'm not going to cut my hair till the last day of STPM. Therefore, cutting my hair = I give up...I cannot jaga my hair, too ma fan la or STPM is too difficult la

Acts 18:18
Paul stayed on in Corinth for some time. Then he left the brothers and sailed for Syria, accompanied by Priscilla and Aquila. Before he sailed, he had his hair cut off at Cenchrea because of a vow he had taken

BTN camp part 2

16 June 09

during the BTN camp..when they sent us to sleep at 12am den woke us up at 2.30 am for an activity....i remember we were given numbers n i was 24..there was 35 in all la...then I slept on the tar road...when i woke up, there was only 2 other campers n a facilitator...

The activity finished at 5am..then they send send us to sleep n we had to wake up at 5.30am....i remember sleeping n when i woke up it was 7.30am, i was in d dorm with another girl...every1 else was down stairs...how come every1 forgot me? Usually we cannot eat until every1 arrives, but that day nobody noticed that i was still asleep...den when i went down...they all asked me where was I gone to? Huh?
[ Sabrina said: oh! haha... maybe God knows u too tired and needed more rest so sent angels to keep u :) ]

there was 1 thing in camp which was really cool that happened.. to get into the girl's dorm u have to enter the toilet...the dorm is in the toilet..haha. we don't have the key to the toilet but we have the key to the dorm.. 1 day I was staring at my towel n i remembered RBS[Residential Bible School] (where A.May Lee told us to not put our towels in the dorm)...So I hanged my towel outside(it was dry i told myself this is d silly-est thing I'm doing)... i was lazy to go out side so i just opened my window cause my window was nearest to the clothes line... That day, some1 locked the toilet door...so having the dorm key was useless n we were all stuck outside...but then i remembered my window, climbed into the dorm n opened d toilet door...amazing isn't it..how RBS n God could make a difference

BTN camp post 1

14 june 2009

Before leaving to the campsite, our school Principle said the form 6's doesn't have kerjasama just because our "baju tak sama"..huh? She believes in 'unity is uniformity'...
In my heart I got even more afraid..."soon the next thing, she might say is I must wear tudung so that all uniform or not it show i don't have unity"...I disagree with 'uniformity is unity'...in a way, she is implying...Malaysia for Malays only.
Anyway, I believe in "unity in diversity"...Then only can masyarakat majmuk ma...
the BTN camp:
only my school..the upper 6 students and 3 lower 6 students. Amazingly Pui Yee came. 35 students in all. The camp was "Kursus Bina Negara Asas" by the "Biro Tatanegara, Jabatan Perdana Menteri"
at "Kem Rekreasi Intan Suraya, Sg Siput(U), Perak"...somewhat like a Leadership camp la.
The BTN camp was ok la...I went with a unwilling heart n came back with a "ok ok la" heart.
There I got to know that these classmates of mine are actually quite caring and Malays like hot or spicy food...everyday their food got chili! curry and durian...make the body hot also..haha..drinks all super sweet..can get diabetes I tell you!
Every activity had a purpose...that was a cool concept.
The place was quite forest-ty la, many trees and durian tress.When we reached the road.It was a dead end and then we had to change bus..old small "mini bus". That mini bus brought us about 1 km inside the "forest" where we saw the campsite...as we were in the mini bus, some was singing, then a form mate said "Jangan seronok sangat"...i ask her why, she said cause we are entering tempat "ORANG" (and she didn't mean humans)...later on during the camp, we had an activity...again i heard a similar remark by another form mate saying "Jangan gembira sangat, jangan takut sangat, jangan berani sangat"...what a strange concept...cannot enjoy camp, cannot be too happy, cannot show real feelings...2 person saw or heard these "ORANG" once during the camp...
The weather there was quite cool la...cold in the morning, cold in the evening and night, afternoon was not that hot..must be the greens and trees.
The camp was quite packed...sleeping time is 12am(the earliest) and the latest sleeping time was 2am... the time to wake up was 5.30am...not enough sleep duh...everyone had panda eyes and many were falling sick with flu, including me.
One of the activity was "berakit" somewhat like kayak la...8 tubes tied together with rafia and PVC pole-like thing and wood(papan)...and we got dayungs la...from our campsite Kem Rekreasi Intan Suraya, Sg Siput(U), Perak to Jabatan Perairan dan Saliran Kuala Kangsar. More than 10 km la...my team was funny, we cannot work together so the rakit was not really moving lah. it was a 5 hour program, but our team took like 6 hours which also included the boat towing our rakit cause we were jauh ketinggalan the pack..haha...There was 1 part, no matter how much we berdayung, we were not moving..hahaha.
berdayung for so many hours...shoulders pain, sit on the papan...butt pain. arms and feet is sunburnt...pain la...feel like we were human BBQ-ed under the scorching sun...d base of my foot's skin peeled...my group mate got blister-like wounds because she didn't keep wetting the tube n the tube was burning hot..so melecur la. The sunburn part is warm but the not sunburn part was cold..so our body got 2 different temperatures.. my arm got 2 diff colors n 2 diff temperature..LOL. The sunburn areas feels like we're burning...argh...
I learnt much and experienced many things...If I could blog during the camp, you would understand la...then you would read 4 long posts...I'm kinda afraid this is quite long already.

Deep Waters

April 7, 2009

The water is deep
Right now, I just want to keep my head above the waters.
Just want to survive.
There is still much strength in me but I'm too tired to go on.
The more I kick the water...Yes I move, BUT
The hope to reach land lessens every day...

When will I see the shore?
The waves are crashing past me...I don't know what the waves are doing?
Are they pushing me to the shore? Are they trying to drown me?
Are they calling me to surf? Are they laughing at me?

The waves are waves and will be waves.
It's up to me
How do I want to look at it?
What's my choice?
I would love to be positive and all. I mean who wouldn't right?
A straight smooth sail would be nice.

The waters are rising each day. I don't know when am I going to finally let go and be lost under the surface...

This is the phase of confusion...
Sadness overwhelms me and is telling me to let go but I know
letting go would be wrong...
Right now I, I don't know if I can say I'm OK and I can say I'm not OK.
I'm in the middle...helplessly floating aimlessly...
I'm lost and it's my fault...I'm not strong enough.
I feel like a "sampah masyarakat" in school.
Why am I studying what I don't want to...
I never thought I'll end up in this school or do these subjects...
Some children study what their parents force on them.
I'm feeling like one of them...no interest here...
I see an easier way out but its after-effect would be disastrous.
A longing is there but cowardliness stops me from taking that road.

I guess I'm kind of unstable now.
Don't worry.
I promise I won't do anything out of the ordinary...
I'll be back to normal after some time...maybe in 2 weeks or so.
I just need some time to accept the REALITY and perhaps
Try to mend my relationship with God.

Dreading Smk SP

Everyday as i walk anywhere in school where there are guys, there's a big chance i get teased.
But every day as i go up those stairs to my class, every week without fail, at least once i will get teased as i go up those stairs; be it racist remarks or eve-teasing.
Teased because I'm a Chinese, teased because I'm a girl, Teased because i don't wear tudung.
every week it accumulates...
Walk to anywhere in school..and i would be exposing myself to these teasings, even walking out of school when school's over. Wherever there are guys, there would be some sort of teasing happening.

The only safe ground for me is in class, or in the library.
I can't do anything because it's not only 1 boy but it's somewhat like an acceptable practice in this school that I'm in. Many guys do it all the time. A Malay Kampung thing i guess...

I'm a very sensitive girl, outside i may seem OK but inside I'm hurt, angry and i feel disgusted by their words.
Yesterday as i walked up to class, the guys at the stairs teased me...i was filled with anger, i wanted to punch dat fellow, i wanted to show that I'm not someone you can mess around with.
my hands was ready, just waiting for d command from me... my hand was half way going up ... den i realize just in time dat i am a Christian.. i will bring down Christ's name.

I wished i did not convert, i wished i was still a Buddhist cause then i would just bash up that guy!
What happened to that MFoong who was aggressive? Where is the girl who kicked a boy on the leg because her friend was teased in SKBB? Where is the girl who fought with a guy outside of SMKBB just because he teased her friend? What happened to the girl who aggressively pushed a guy at HCC for teasing her friend?

I cry myself to sleep... The One Above sent me here, i don't know WHY! Is this a test/trial? Is this a training ground to toughen me up? Is this a place to learn patience, self-control and AGAPE?

sports day

5th march 2009

sports day
today was smk seri pantai's sports day. i feel so embarrassed that I'm in this skool.
we had 4x100m jemputan with smk seri hartamas n vivekananda. smk seri hartamas won and when they came to receive d medals, my kampung skool laugh at them cause they wearing shorts..tunjuk aurat wor.Really embarrassing la... even uncivilized people behave better.

neway now onto d lesson i learn through sports day.
i entered 100m, 4x100m and 4x400m n lompat jauh n 4x100m jemputan... all i got 3rd. sad la..
BUT this was GOD reminding me of something i learn while i was in RBS(Residential Bible School) during the jungle trekking. "It's not how fast u finish d race but it's how u share n show God's love during d race"
God's calling for me to be a Pacesetter rather than a Runner. But i rather be a runner than a pacesetter :P
Just recently i notice how hard i try to b a runner i just keep on failing horribly and it's really pathetic!

2nd rain

2nd March, 2009

The Rain on Friday(27 feb) really made me sick...What kind of school still holds an assembly in the midst of rain? The teachers in the shade and the students under the rain for at least 10 minutes. Abuse! Selfish! Inconsiderate! This is not the first time Smk Seri Pantai made the students stand under the rain. This is the second time already! Th first time was at the prefect and librarian installation where the librarians had to stand under the rain.(23.10.08)

Really, this is a super crazy school which abuses it's power to achieve it's selfish purpose, thus neglecting the health of the students.

It was really stupid of the Principle and new TESL teachers to exchange gifts, give a speech and take pictures under the shade and in the meantime forcing students to stand under the rain just to witness these. If this is not abuse, what else do you call it?

If I follow my feelings, I really want to report this to the media but that would just be loads of effort.

Today, I still don't agree with the teacher's "super imposed"...Whatever lah, I don't want to argue anymore for it brings no benefit. "Teachers are always right!"
HAIZ, what a SHREWED UP system!

Unique school?

feb 20, 2009

unique school? hidden in kampung Kerinchi aka "bangsar south". A poor malay kampung area. not really a good school to be in but it's a refuge for the REJECTS. many of us look down on it and dare not associate ourselves with this kind of image or status.social cast outs. if we think a bit more, "hey, this are the kind of people which Jesus ate and associated with...tax collectors and prostitutes, remember 'People who are well do not need a doctor, but only those who are sick. I have not come to call the respectable people to repent, but outcasts' LUKE 5:31-32
1200 students consisting of form 1 to upper 6 with only 3 non-muslim students:
a christian chinese girl, a buddhist chinese girl and a hindu indian boy who are upper 6 students.
discrimination is inevitable..."kenapa tak pakai tudung?", "amoi"
if u can speak english, they sort of ex-communicate you. they see "speaking english" as action-ing and being stuck up.
Truthfully i don't like it here and it really sucks. i hate being discriminated against.
i really admire the teachers here...their patience and they have extra hard work to discipline and to help us understand. in this school i really see "Education For ALL". This includes the poor, slow, problematic, rejects, cast out, lazy and etc.

tiny issues-discrimination!

Standing up against these discrimination that are really minor…

Is it pride OR

preserving the goodness and standing up for what is right OR

making a big fuss of a small thing OR

preserving justice and upholding morale?

Let a small bad pass by, close one eye and let it be a culture?

Am i to stand up OR not?

By letting it go, is it forgiving and offering the other cheek and not complaining

OR is it making people think it’s OK, accepted…

confused, puzzled…what shall i do?

Am i giving in into temptation by standing up OR

am i suppose to give in and persevere through this ‘trial’ to check my meek and humbleness?

What am i to do? What is His will for me? What shall i do?

To be ignorant and allow it to seep in OR

to be stupidly bold to complain over a small matter…so subtle.

I’m not stupid, i know my rights!

stupid prefect!

6th Jan 2009

Today around 7.40am when the girls of 6A1 was walking back to class, a guy prefect said "Tak Pakai tudung" when I passed by.

I can't recognize his voice nor face but i really felt offended. It's a form of discrimination! Discrimination to the minority students of SMKSP especially the non-muslim girls. Plus, I am a senior. This is disrespect and labeling is a form of Bully!

The prefect brought up a "sensitive issue"/religious one. According to the WPKL Secondary School Discipline book, this can be classified as a serious issue. If no disciplinary action is taken , this school would send out a message that discrimination exist clearly in SMKSP:
1. Prefects are 1st class students-allowed to Eve-tease, bully, bring up sensitive issues and yet get easily off the hook.
2. SMKSP allows discrimination against the minorities!

We got to stand up for our RIGHTS, if we don't->who will? Don't let people take advantage just because you're a girl and just because you're a minority!

rain!

23.10.08

today the forced the librarians to stand in the drizzle. All the teachers was there, even the Principle. also the chief inspector Shahrizan...NO one stood up for us, they let this happen in front of their eyes. No one cared or was concern. All the teachers were "I, I, ME, ME" as long as they were safe from the drizzle, they were happy. We stood for almost one and half an hour. 7.15an we stood under the drizzle, then 8.05am we was let in under the shade for a while...at 8.15am they made us stand under the drizzle again until 8.50am. stupid school!

Introduction

13 may 2008

SPM had come to pass and so now begins my form 6 years.

I'm off to STPM. Another one and a half years of school and I'm done.

My new school is SMK Seri Pantai, situated at Kampung Kerinchi. Kuala Lumpur.

Never heard of it? =X Yeah, Even I myself had never heard of this school before...
until the day I received the Form 6 offer letter. The offer letter wrote SMK SERI PANTAI but some how my school says it's SMK SRI PANTAI...To me the official letter was SERI and it will remain SERI to me. Black and White. =)

The reason I'm in this school is because of my SPM results.
Although I got four 1A for ACCOUNTS, BIBLE KNOWLEDGE, ENGLISH and EST,
I FAILED my Add maths, I got 7E for Chemistry and 6D for Physics and Biology in SPM.

So, here I am all alone in this unknown school.

Who knew what's in store for me: I was in cultural shock the first day.

There is less than 10 non-Malay students in the whole school. Form 1 to Upper 6 BUT less than 10 non-Malays? Are you sure this is not a "SEKOLAH AGAMA?". Are you sure that I'm in a "SEKOLAH KEBANGSAAN"?

me: "Please, can I transfer school?"
parents: "No, too troublesome, besides, school is school!"